“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”- Wayne Dyer
Something we tend to hear a lot of is people complaining that their current situation is permanent. Whether it’s in relation to their health, work, relationship or current location we often feel like “this is it.” It’s funny because we all know how quickly and unexpectedly things can change yet when we are unhappy we default to just give up and wish for something better. Seeing things in a negative mind frame is easy, it’s a habit that we generally build throughout our entire lives so to change takes persistence and practice.
So what was my tipping point? I reached a stage in my life where I was tired of being unhappy, tired of assuming the worst and tired of this negative mindset that I seemed to always default to and so I knew it was time to start re-framing my mind.
Here is what is working for me so far
I have learnt that taking accountability for my situation and how I perceive what is going on is 100% my responsibility. If there is no way of physically changing a situation then I have to change the lens in which I see it through.
Pausing and taking a couple of deep breaths is a must. I know that I am very quick to jump to conclusions and react based on assumptions I have made up in my head. I find having a change of environment really helps me see things from a far more clear head space and slowly break my habit of thinking of the worst.
I am being far more mindful of my words and made an effort to replace negative phrases with positive ones. I definitely recommend taking the word “can’t” out of your vocabulary. I feel like my mum saying this as if I ever said “I can’t” when growing up my mum would immediately respond “there’s no such thing as can’t” and now I totally understand what she meant. As soon as we say “can’t” we are already doubting ourselves, we are already surrendering to our situation and making that barrier around life tighter. You can and you will!
Someone recently shared a story with me about how she won a session with a professional golf player. She considered herself a good shot but was always open to feedback. The professional suggested changing the angle of where the club hit the ball and with this simple piece of advice and a small change her good shots became great. I thought this was a great metaphor for life and this subject in particular, if we just slightly change the angle of how we look at something it can transform our mindset and entire quality of life.
Finally the words from Ginder and Bandler who developed NLP always remind me to change my perspective. They wrote “Every experience in the world and every behaviour is appropriate given some context and some frame.” Be mindful of your focus, choose to re-frame your thinking in a positive light and turn your “I can’t” into “I can!”
Thank you so much for reading ☮